When will I surface
That is a good question, when will I surface? I am not sure that I ever will. I really do not want to. I want to move the clock back a couple of years but time is relentless; it moves onward. There is...
View Article19th of April 2021
More than a week has passed but I was unaware of the passing days. Still in my quiet place remembering Edward and our 54 and one half years together. I remember when he used to talk about the future...
View ArticleThe Grief Workshop
"Death needs to be peaceful and amongst loved ones which is the case for me. It is the loss, the missing person that is hardest to manage in the period just after death. I am working my way through...
View ArticleSurvivour Guilt
I am entering into survivour guilt. Ed was always going to outlive me in my mind. He was so healthy right into his late 60s. We biked, walked, canoed, skied, skated and he genuinely enjoyed his...
View ArticleOverwhelmed
Overwhelmed at the moment. There is so much to do. I need to keep moving forward getting projects done. I keep thinking now this could have happened last May when he was so very ill and I was less...
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Born in a Blizzard
My husband Edward was actually born during a raging blizzard on the 16th April 1943. The doctor who delivered him went into the ditch a bit down the highway from the farm where he was born and had to...
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Being the fourties not so many pictures
The next picture of Edward was again on the farm and winter. He is not yet two years of age as he is still on the farm. His father died when he was two years and two months of age. We discovered these...
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His cousins Marilyn and Jane
Once Edward reunited with his two cousins Marilyn and Jane, we saw them regularly in the past decade sometimes as often as three times a year. We would meet at our hotel, or a restaurant or a house....
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Another picture and mistake corrected
Although I have been attending United Empire Loyalists meeting with Edward for twenty years or more for some reason it had not really sunk into my brain that in using the designation of the Society one...
View ArticleDownsizing
When Ed finally started to talk about downsizing life had moved beyond that possibility. COVID-19 made it very difficult to manage. We had reached a point where we were fortunately discussing what to...
View ArticleStill on the train ride
I am still on that train ride and can not get to the station yet where I can get off and rest a while. Waiting and wondering what I have to switch and what I need help with and how to reach the areas...
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Ed in Princeton Ontario
Ed loved the small village in which he grew up - Princeton, Ontario. We went back there every year even the last few years. We had planted hosta on his parents' and grandparents' graves. They were...
View ArticleEnd of the day
This was a long difficult day but finished thankfully. Car loan is all paid. Car is transferred to me. Monday I need to check to make sure I have done everything now for the house and car insurance. I...
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Edward at the local swimming hole
One of Edward's favourite people was his mother's brother his Uncle Elton. Here he is pictured again with his brother Allen and his Uncle Elton. I think that it might be 1947 when Edward was around...
View ArticleI need to have a rest
I know that I need to rest but I am finding it difficult to really do so. To let go of everything that I am worried about and just meditate. Why do I worry? Hopefully the house will sell easily but I...
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Edward and his mother
This picture of Edward and his mother and he is perhaps two or three years of age. I realize he never actually dated this one. It is a bit deceptive because he was a big child for his age in these...
View ArticleIt is the Lord's Day
Today is the Lord's Day and Church at 10:30. The steady rhythm of my life must take over from my sorrow; I try to do all the things that I was doing when we were caring for Ed. I always woke early and...
View ArticleNot ready yet
Although I am doing shopping as needed and trying to solve any problems that arise, I am just not ready yet to talk to anyone. It will be a while. Ed and I were close but this last year brought us so...
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Edward at five years of age
Ed thought he remembered this picture from when he was five years of age (1948) but couldn't remember why it was taken. He is dressed up in his suit and they are likely going to Church which was just...
View ArticleContinuing to move forward
I am continuing to move forward although my daughters and I do find grief is still very much with us. Today the pharmacist kindly certified copies of our wedding registration so that I can now send in...
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